WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO TRUST YOURSELF?
Self-trust is all about having a great relationship with yourself. It’s built on being kind and compassionate to yourself, listening to your instinct and giving you the space & time to think.
Like everything you don’t suddenly decide you can trust yourself overnight but with a little bit of work and taking action you can build the relationship with yourself in the same way as you would build trust in any relationship.
Every emotion we feel is our responsibility. Trusting ourselves more will help us be more accepting of others and support us in not feeling the need to make others happy all the time. Our ability to trust ourselves plays a huge part in everything we do in life.
Most of the trust issues we have with others is often a reflection of the level of trust we have with ourselves. Whenever we meet new people, we always try to figure out whether we like or trust them, even before we have got to know them!
The challenge with trust is it can take a long time to gain someone else’s trust, and we all know it can be lost quickly with just one mistake.
With ourselves, if we don’t follow through on a something like a deadline or something we’d promised to do, our level of self-trust goes down quickly, that not only affects what we do, it also affects how we do things and how much of ourselves we put into things.
When we have self-trust, we are able to do all kinds of things without judging ourselves too harshly and it’s one of the most helpful things you can do for you. Learning to trust ourselves is a really important part of developing as a person because increased self-trust leads to better relationships with ourselves and others, it builds & enriches your confidence, allows others to trust you more, decision making gets easier and it’s also linked to how happy we are.
Your inner critic and self-trust – make friends with Betty
We all have an inner critic, and you’ll know if you’ve followed me for a while that mine is called Betty. You’ll also know that Betty loves to ask me “what if…” and she often pipes up when she thinks I’m going to get into a vulnerable position, either emotionally or physically – all of which affects my confidence levels.
Well part of building self-trust has to be making friends and having a better relationship with Betty.
I have to remember that as harsh as Betty can be to me, she has my best intentions at heart – she is trying to protect me, to keep me safe. So, by acknowledging this and having a “Thanks Betty I’ve got this” type of relationship with her, my confidence levels improve because I trust myself to go off into that situation Betty perceives as vulnerable.
This helps me to hear Betty more positively and I can work on the relationship I have with her turning her into my inner cheerleader. This helps to build self-trust because we’re not constantly being mean to ourselves.
Why not read my blog about the inner critic to find out more.
How does it link to confidence?
Trusting yourself builds & enriches confidence; you can rely on yourself, you trust your decision making ability, you celebrate all wins and you have a more confident feeling of whatever comes your way you trust yourself that you’ll be able to handle it.
Here’s my Top Ten Tips to Building Self-Trust.
- Be Yourself
Only you can be you – you are unique and that is your superpower.
- Set realistic goals
Set small goals along the way to your bigger goals, break it down, bite size is best.
- Spend time with yourself
Make sure you have some time in your busy plans/schedule to spend with yourself.
- Be kind to yourself
You have to learn to love yourself. We are our own worst critics and things you say to yourself you would never say to a friend, so why torture yourself?
- Build on your strengths
A better place to be when you want to build self-trust is to focus on the things you are good at.
- Make decisions
Trust your own opinions – asking for opinions of others is great but often you end up more confused and wishing you had gone with your instinct instead.
- Celebrate all wins
Rewards yourself for your achievement however big or small. Treat yourself you deserve it.
- Keep a list of all your achievements
Write them out and keep them somewhere you can see them.
- Avoid those who don’t share your Values
Know your values and stick to them, don’t let those who don’t share them influence you.
- Ask for help
Sometimes you need a helping hand to make a decision or to solve a problem – so ask.
I hope there are a few points that resonate and that you can take action with. Here’s more detail on each point so you can confidently take action to build your self-trust.