What came first the courage or the confidence?
It’s a bit like asking what came first the chicken or the egg? Do you need both of them? Is one more important that the other?
I guess you could compare courage and confidence to the most famous of duo’s you can think of; Ant & Dec, Pooh & Piglet, Batman & Robin, Morcambe & Wise, Torvill & Dean…. you get the idea (and you probably have better examples!).
These are two qualities, or people, that most definitely go hand in hand and I’m not sure you can have one without the other.
If we think about the definitions from the dictionary of the two words below,
COURAGE: “The ability to do something that frightens one; bravery.”
CONFIDENCE: “The feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something”
CONFIDENCE is a BELIEF that we can do something whereas COURAGE is facing into our fear and ability to actually do something, TAKING ACTION, to make it happen.
So, you could argue that you can’t get to that feeling of confidence without having courage. And if confidence is something we have to practice, like anything we want to be good at, then you need a shot courage to give it a go, to make a start.
Do something new?
Doing something new or something that feels uncomfortable, however big or small, takes courage. This courage is often associated with fear.
Why? Because naturally our brains are hardwired for negative thinking, so we’ll always go to the scenario of what could go wrong rather than how good it might feel when it’s done!
Think back to a time when you thought over and over about a difficult conversation you needed to have with someone. In your mind you built it up, you worried about what you were going to say, you thought about how the other person might react, you feared it or dreaded it.
You get to have the actual conversation and you have that nervous sicky feeling in the pit of your stomach and then…oh my god, it goes really WELL. In fact, because tackling that feared conversation your relationship is better now than it’s ever been.
We build things up in our mind and they are never as bad as we think they are going to be. What happens is that procrastination means our ‘perceived’ fear of what ‘might’ happen expands to a point where it just feels overwhelming.
So, we procrastinate some more and put off doing whatever we were procrastinating about in the first place. Argghhhhhhhh!!
Exercise your COURAGE
Having the COURAGE to deal with things sooner will mean you can have some control over that overwhelm.
Once you’ve exercised your COURAGE, you’ll feel more CONFIDENT.
It takes courage to step outside your comfort zone and start something new. It takes courage to take a risk, whatever that risk feels like for you. But until you have the COURAGE to try something new, you’ll never develop the CONFIDENCE that comes with experience.
It’s this experience that brings a feeling of mastery that you can take forward into something new next time, because you know you can do it, or it’s not going to be as bad as you perceive or think it to be.
So, if COURAGE and CONFIDENCE do go together like Ant & Dec, but I pushed you into choosing your favourite, (let’s be honest we all have a favourite right?), would you choose COURAGE or CONFIDENCE?
Me? I’d choose COURAGE, because it’s the courage that keeps me moving forward, keeps me learning and growing. CONFIDENCE helps me to go again based on the success or mastery of experience I’ve had, but it’s courage that pushes me to go again with something new.
If you’ve followed me for a while, you’ll know that my courage comes from trusting myself, saying yes, telling myself that failure is all actually learning and, of course, pulling up my BIG PANTS definitely gives me the surge of courage I need to go and do that thing that feels scary.
So, do you need COURAGE to have CONFIDENCE?
Yes, I’d say you absolutely do.
The COURAGE to do it, the CONFIDENCE to do it again.
If you need a shot of courage to enrich your confidence then let’s chat about how 1:1 coaching could work for you. Book a no obligation Curiosity Chat with me.
If you feel 1:1 coaching is right for you right now, then I’ve created a library of online self-learning Confidence Enrichment courses that you can work through in your own time.