SO, WHAT DO I ACTUALLY DO?
I’ve been thinking lately about what exactly it is that I do? Apart from talking about Betty & BIG PANTS!
You know that I’m a coach and I focus on all things confidence BUT what do I actually do?
The last 3 years in my business have brought me to a place of truly understanding what confidence is. I’ve realised I work with my clients through coaching to determine what their confidence DNA is and then together we explore how they add value and improve the quality of their confidence – ENRICHMENT.
As well as learning about confidence in more detail than I could ever have imagined, there is so much more to that word than we realise. I have also learnt about my own confidence DNA and what that is. If you’d have asked me 3 years ago, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you.
IS CONFIDENCE GENETIC?
Here’s the Science bit….
It turns out confidence can actually be genetic and in our DNA, for some of us it’s thought to be anywhere between 25% – 50%.
Research over the years has also revealed that confidence genes can be manipulated and influenced over time – great news for those of us who don’t have so much of it!
Confidence means different things to different people and that confident feeling is can sometimes feel like a rollercoaster, it can be high or low depending on situations.
Like our DNA, confidence has many different strands, it’s deeply underpinned by 3 things:
- UPBRINGING – where our beliefs and values are created and held close to us
- EXPERIENCES – where we learn, create memories and build our resilience
- ENVIRONMENT – who we surround ourselves with, where we are, what we are doing
Whilst we can’t change our upbringing, we can alter our experiences and environment to impact our confidence levels.
With that in mind CONFIDENCE is something we outwardly display and inwardly feel, mostly driven by our thoughts which turn into actions.
For that confident display to take place, there are 3 more strands that build a stronger confident you.
- COURAGE – you’ll need this to give things a go – to take action
- PRACTICE – if we want to be good at anything, we practice, pull up our big pants and do it
- CONSISTENCY – being consistent is what makes a lasting change
So, the good news is you can change your levels of confidence
HORMONES, NEUROTRANMITTERS & CONFIDENCE
Hormones also play a part in confidence. It’s thought that healthy levels of some hormones help the brain to make more rational decisions because of neurotransmitters – namely serotonin, oxytocin and dopamine.
Serotonin is the neurotransmitter that has an impact on our mood & then how we behave. The more serotonin you have the more it can make you feel calm and happy.
Oxytocin often known as the “cuddle hormone” has been linked to optimism, those with a healthy level of oxytocin often act and take risks.
Dopamine inspires doing and exploring and is often linked with curiosity and risk taking too.
Together these lay the foundations for us to experience that feeling of confidence. Research into these hormones and their effect has mainly been centred around understanding and treating physical and mental health illnesses.
Whilst there is not much research right now, It is thought that in the last few years, work is taking place to understand how theses hormones impact our health and well being and ultimately our confidence.
So, in short, dopamine gets us taking action, serotonin keeps us calm and oxytocin generates a warm and positive attitude to ourselves and others.
HOW DOES ALL THIS HELP IN COACHING?
Clients don’t come to me saying they want more confidence, but it is an underlying theme that’s generally holding them back in some form or another. There are too many themes to list, but some examples are:
- A blocker
- Inner critic
- Stuck in the comfort zone
- Wanting a change / looking for a new role / job
- People pleasing
- Starting a new role
Sometimes clients don’t know what’s holding them back. Sometimes they do but need a fresh pair of eyes or thinking on the subject – it was Einstein who said you can’t solve the problem with the same thinking that created it.
They know they need someone to work with to get them to a different place – someone unbiased, non-judgemental, and often someone who knows nothing about what they do – that way I can’t have any views or opinions!
Rather than tackling the problem at face value, we dig deep to find the underlying thinking. I point things out, repeat back, I listen, I ask questions, and we have a conversation. My clients then go off and take action, which needs courage, and then we get back together and reflect.
Coaching is a powerful way to feel empowered. It raises self-awareness and helps you to come up with the answers for yourself, because only you can truly know what is right for you.
So, for me, enriching confidence is about 3 things: CONSISTENCY, PRACTICE, COURAGE, possibly in any order but used together become very powerful.
Want to know more get in touch for a free Curiosity Chat https://www.enrichmentcoaching.co.uk/contact/ to discover how 1:1 coaching could work for you.